My Family Wants to Make Offerings of Meat — What Should I Do? | Master Jingben
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My Family Wants to Make Offerings of Meat — What Should I Do?
My late mother passed away last year. At that time I had not yet begun to learn the Dharma, and now I feel deep regret — I was not able to keep assisted recitation for her, and meat was used at the offerings as well.
It is now the seventh lunar month, and my family intends to make offerings of meat for my late mother. When I found out, I became very worried, because I know the Buddha taught that we should not make offerings of meat — that doing so only adds to karmic hindrances. Of this I have no doubt at all, but my family does not believe it; at present they do not trust the Buddha-Dharma either, and they even urge me not to be superstitious.
May I ask, Master: what should I do?
Master Jingben Answers: Namo Amitabha. That you only began learning the Buddha's teaching this year, and can already recite the Name and keep a vegetarian diet every day — this care of yours is truly rare; and this filial heart of yours towards your mother is more precious still.
1. Entrust It to Amitabha Buddha
When your mother passed away, you did not yet know this Dharma-gate, and so of course there was no way for you to keep assisted recitation for her. This was simply how conditions were; there is no need to blame yourself. Know this: to recite the Buddha's name now and dedicate the merit to your mother brings real and great benefit all the same — it is not too late merely because there was no assisted recitation at the time. Reciting the Name for the departed exists precisely to make up for all those moments that came "too late" — if everyone already knew about reciting the Name from the start, there would be no need for such dedication at all.
Here lies the excellence of this Dharma-gate of reciting the Name: whichever realm the departed may be in at this moment, the merit of reciting and dedicating can reach her and benefit her. This is not merely a comforting word; it is because Amitabha Buddha's vow-power is true and not empty, and beyond conceiving. So rather than going on worrying, better that we recite this Name for your mother — this is what truly helps her.
You are also most welcome to come to the Dharma center and join a Dharma service, reciting the Name for your mother. If it is not convenient to come, you may also join the online group practice from home; and failing that, simply reciting for your mother at home as usual brings benefit just the same.
2. On Offerings of Meat
It is true that the Buddha-Dharma does not advocate making offerings of meat; your understanding is not mistaken. In practice, however, there are skilful means we can adopt:
(1) Do not argue. Your family is in the midst of arranging things, and they do not believe in the Dharma; to insist on debating at such a moment will only give rise to conflict, and will instead make them feel averse to the Buddha-Dharma.
(2) Adjust according to circumstances. You can prepare a few vegetarian offerings with your own hands, or gently suggest: "Mother liked this when she was alive; let me prepare a few dishes." There is no need to make a point of the words "vegetarian food." Conditions are not yet ripe, so there is no need to insist on everything being vegetarian — it is enough simply to shift the proportion, so that more of the offerings do not involve meat. For instance, if five dishes were to be prepared and four of them were meat, they can now be reversed, so that four are vegetarian. Whatever measure of killing can be reduced is that much gained. And even if your family wishes to offer meat, try as far as possible to use "the three kinds of pure meat," rather than creatures slaughtered on the spot.
(3) And this is the most important of all: let your family make their offerings in their own way, while you, during the offering, recite the Buddha's name in your heart for your mother, and recite also for those beings whose lives were given up. Amitabha Buddha is compassionate, and can surely deliver them all. It is because you were there that these animals have had the chance to encounter Amitabha Buddha and to receive the Buddha's deliverance — seen in this way, this whole affinity comes to a perfect completion.
3. Finally
Faith cannot be forced upon one's family; but every recitation of the Name that you make, Amitabha Buddha knows.
When your family calls you "superstitious," there is no need to take it to heart. In truth they say it out of concern, not out of ill will. Every being has their own conditions; that they cannot accept it for now only means the conditions have not yet ripened. So at this stage: let them do as they do, while we go on reciting the Buddha's name — and dedicate the merit for them as well, praying that Amitabha Buddha may bless them with his compassion, so that their wholesome roots may ripen before long.
Let us simply entrust your mother's rebirth to Amitabha Buddha, and entrust this whole matter to Amitabha Buddha as well. Namo Amitabha
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